How to Reassure a Friend Suffering From Depression

Your small acts of kindness can make all the difference

Did someone come to your mind when you read the word “friend?” Perhaps you thought of a relative, a coworker, or another person very close to you.

Are you worried about how on earth you could make them feel better? Wondered how you can help them navigate away from this dark place they seem to be trapped in?

I have. I have lost so much sleep over worrying about how to possibly help friends with depression. What I could do or could have done. What I should do or should have done. Endless rumination on what I would need someone to say to me if I swapped places with them.

Enter: frustration. Not knowing what do to, what to say, even what to think.

I have suffered from chronic, severe, and treatment-resistant depression for as long as I can remember. So of all people — shouldn’t I be the one to know how to deal with a depressed soul? Shouldn’t I hold the formula to successfully dealing with those friends?

To be honest, every time I am determined to alleviate the pain of someone suffering from depression I get a vague feeling of how others must have felt dealing with me, Emilia Smith, at my very worst. They must have felt helpless, frustrated, and at a loss for words.

Reassuring someone with depression can at times feel like an impossible task. The hard part is to accept that nothing might come back from them. Do neither expect any form of gratitude nor instant results. It is very likely that your friend will only appreciate your efforts once they are getting better and their mind is less clouded.

You will also need to appreciate that you will only be able to contribute small things to someone’s recovery. Don’t put pressure on yourself and don’t expect too much. While you might have the noblest of intentions, you will have to realize that your friend’s full recovery is neither your responsibility nor within your capability.

You can’t carry someone else’s burden, but you can help them find some new strength to…

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