Move Slower and Avoid Fidgeting

Master Your Body Language and You Shall Master the World

It is obvious that tones of books, academic and field studies, articles, workshops and all sorts of literature have been produced over the topic of body language. You must have been exposed to a fair share of the topic throughout. Therefore, I will save you the time and start with teaching you some advanced tricks that will project you as a master of body language.

Sudden quick moves are normally perceived as sign of stress,lack of confidence, guilt or dishonesty. Thus, you have to practice moving slower that you usually do. That does not meant you remain stiff and motionless when interacting with others. It simply means you have to appear heavy and in control. The same applies to verbal communication. Talk slower but avoid sounding sleepy and boring. Talk as if anything you say is important. As a matter of fact avoid saying anything that is not important.

The way you move your limbs reflects your mental status and reveal a lot about your feelings. For instance, raising your hand to cover your mouth while speaking could send an alert to the other person that you could be lying. So unless you are a football team manager or player instructing other members of your team and not wanting lip readers to find out what you say, never cover your mouth while talking. The same applies to your feet as expert criminologists pay close attention to how suspects move their feet as a lie-detection tool.

Convey to the person in front of you that you are interested in listening to more of what they say and in no rush to interrupt any soon. Most people manage this attribute poorly. They listens with the intention of speaking without even showing an interest or reflecting upon what is being said. I know someone who unconsciously raises his finger before even you finish your sentence or conveying your entire message. It seems that he is hardwired since school days where children are not allowed to speak before raising their finger. So, the next time you are talking to someone lean back and demonstrate to him or her that you are not only enjoying and learning what is being said but you are reflecting upon it. Wait for at least five seconds after the other person is done talking before saying something. Avoid sings of boredom or disinterest by placing your hands over your ear or tapping your phone screen or escaping eye contact as if you are eagerly waiting for the talker to shut up.

Watch how powerful people walk and try to copy them without making a fool of yourself. Maintain a straight posture and do not hunch your back or raise your shoulder while lowering your head like a turtle. Push back your shoulder and push your chest slightly forward. Look straight and never look down unless the situation requires you to do so. Show the world that you are confident and have nothing to be insecure about. Avoid looking left and right or turning your neck in an uncontrollable fashion. Finally, take bigger steps while walking and move slowly. Following these advice will boost your self-confidence as the old saying goes fake it until you make it. The brain can be easily fooled by the way we move our body.

Little facial expressions send confusing signals and could lead to false reading and destroy your image before you even say a word. Keep a stable, rock-solid face when you talk. These expressions could come in the form of twitching your nose, squinting your eyes, compressing your lips or sucking them into the mouth, quivering your lips or chin, moving twitching or oddly pulling the corners of your mouth toward your ear very quickly, grinding your teeth or any other facial expressions you notice while watching Jim Carey. The best way to find out about these tiny facial gestures and expressions is through looking yourself in the mirror while speaking. Examine yourself while saying specific words or going through specific emotions. Repeat this exercise as often as you can until you are in total control of what your face reveals.

People with deeper voice sound more powerful and authoritative. It is attractive and indicates not only self-confidence but also expertise. It may seems silly but it plays a gigantic role in how others perceive us. Even if you have a high-pitched voice you can still achieve some improvement if you practice. Pay deep attention to your voice every time you are in a conversation. Deepen your tonality every time it sounds weak. A good book to read on this subject is called “The Sound of Your Voice” by Carol Fleming.

Always remember what seems powerful in one culture could be viewed as rude in another culture. For instance, staring people in the eyes might not be favorable when you are talking to someone from the opposite gender in Middle East. Italians are accustomed to moving their hand while talking. Americans value personal space more than any other nationality in the world. Indians shake their heads upside down to mean something and sideways to mean something else. You can surely come up with your own list of how different cultures use body language. Nevertheless, it seems that the world shares a common ground on certain codes of body language.

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