Dating older women

She’s got her own life. And by that I mean: her own career, her own friends, her own apartment, her own money. A 30-year-old man from Brooklyn told me these factors are what makes older women a turn on.

Also, the fact that an older woman has her own money means she likely worked hard to get it. Should you automatically go dutch or expect her to pay? No. In fact, you want to impress someone, treat a lady with some bank to a nice meal, because she appreciates exactly how much it costs.

She can hold her own. This ain’t her first rodeo. So when you take her out with your friends or coworkers, be it to a wedding or work event, you don’t have to worry she’ll perish without your constant attention. She’s been to enough of these things on her own to manage just fine while you’re talking to someone else.

She knows what she wants — and doesn’t want. And at this point, she’s not afraid to say it. In the bedroom? Go ahead and try to shock her. Bondage? Bisexual encounters? Three ways? Role play? If she hasn’t tried it herself, she’s likely considered it. Plus, I’m talking about outside of the bedroom as well. You may buy into the idea that all older women are “desperate.” Granted, some are. (Some older men are too. And some younger women, And some etc. etc.) But many are not. Most of the single women I know over 35 just want a good man, period.

She had sex before she had a FB profile. Hard as it may be to imagine a world before Facebook, the fact is, there was one — and I, along with many of my lady cohorts, lived in it. Given that we didn’t suckle at that digital teat so early on like Millennials, we’re not going to live and die by whether we change our relationship status. I even forget it’s there. Get this: I’m not even FB friends with the guy I’m currently seeing. I’ve found it refreshing. It retains a bit of mystery, and privacy, for now. I don’t need to be omnipresent, liking everything he says or does, and I don’t have to monitor what I say, worrying it’ll be taken a certain way. I did get a glimpse of his page when he left it open one day, and I did take a gander at his ex, but I found it so stressful that I closed out of it immediately. Try getting away with that with a 27-year-old.

She doesn’t need you; she wants you. If she’s gotten this far on her own, regardless of whatever relationships are behind her, she’s been through enough ups and downs to know she can handle just about anything. And she knows she won’t fall into a million pieces if she doesn’t have a boyfriend. But she would love one, for sure. And whereas younger women are putting you through the paces to see if you can provide her with a life, an identity, and a future, an older woman already knows who she is and what she wants to do — she’d just love someone to share it with.

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